


slow show

by snaredrum



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - No Powers, F/F, Fluff, No Incest, and there never will be!, gratuitous references to postwar italian cinema, other couples as well but they're not the focus
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-15
Updated: 2020-11-09
Packaged: 2021-03-09 03:33:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,148
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27018118
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/snaredrum/pseuds/snaredrum
Summary: "Klaus squinted. 'Are you two having a Vanya-less girls’ night? Seems a little cruel, but yes, if you insist, I will take her place.'Allison rolled her eyes, shrugging off Klaus’s arm. 'No, dumbass. Our friend Sissy here has a crush on Vanya and we need to talk strategy.''Oh fuck!' Klaus flapped his hands in Sissy’s general direction. 'Oh, now these are some big plans!'"***Sissy has come to the inconvenient realization that she has a crush on her best friend. Vanya's many siblings are more than happy to help out.God help her.
Relationships: Sissy Cooper/Vanya Hargreeves
Comments: 30
Kudos: 161





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> title comes from the song of the same name by the national. sorry for naming everything after their songs.
> 
> i picture this as taking place junior year. that's about age 16/17 if you're unfamiliar with the american education system.

Sissy knew she was completely, irrevocably fucked at the beginning of first period.

Not because she was exhausted from staying up all night (which she was), or because she had propped up her history textbook under her desk to get some last-minute cramming in before next period (which she had), or because she still didn’t quite understand the political entanglements that led to World War I (which she didn’t).

It was because Vanya Hargreeves, her best friend ever since she moved here, walked into the room and, with a shy smile, placed a chocolate cupcake on the table in front of her.

Sissy looked up from her textbook to stare at it, taking a couple seconds to process it through thoughts of Archduke Franz Ferdinand. “What’s this?”

Vanya placed her backpack on the floor, took her seat next to Sissy and said simply, “It’s a cupcake.”

Sissy snorted. “I figured. What’s the occasion?” She had a brief moment of panic – had she forgotten her own birthday?

“When we were texting last night you mentioned how stressed you were about your AP Euro test, and I know you like chocolate, so I brought you this. It’s my moral support.” And she smiled again and took out her notebook and pen like she did every day, like it was nothing, like she hadn’t just done the sweetest thing anyone had done for Sissy in, well, ever.

Sissy’s heart fluttered, something warm and soft cutting through the morning grogginess she had been wrapped in until now. She picked up the cupcake gingerly, delicately, like it was a flower that she could crush if she held it too hard, before realizing that was ridiculous because it was a goddamn _cupcake_. Peeling back the wrapper, she looked over at Vanya, her face in profile.

“Vanya, I…wow, thank you.”

Vanya started a bit, like she was somehow surprised to be thanked, and when she looked up Sissy could see a faint blush to her cheeks. “Of course. Anytime.”

Sissy felt heat rush to her own cheeks. There was no denying it now.

She had a crush on Vanya Hargreeves.

God, she was going to flunk this test.

***

No individual Hargreeves was the weirdest person Sissy had ever met – that was an honor held by the lady who lived down the road from her aunt and uncle’s farm in Texas, the one who didn’t drink water because she thought it gave you cancer. They were, however, unchallenged in their position as the weirdest _family_ she’d ever met. Seven kids, all approximately the same age (but not exactly – they were all born within the same year of each other but had different birthdays, and the distinction mattered to them if no one else; Sissy couldn’t remember the order, but knew Luther was the oldest and Vanya the youngest), all adopted by a reclusive billionaire and his wife. They lived in a stately uptown mansion, big enough that they all had their own bedroom, but they all shared one minivan. They even had a butler, but Sissy had only met him a couple times, mostly when he and Mrs. Hargreeves went to Vanya’s youth orchestra concerts. Her father never attended.

Last March, when Sissy was the new kid and had tagged along to Vanya’s lunch table, figuring her chances of making friends with the only girl in class quieter than herself were pretty decent, she had honestly thought she was being pranked when six wildly different looking kids sat down and introduced themselves as Vanya’s siblings. “Adopted,” they had chorused in response to her blank stare.

Sissy still couldn’t imagine what having so many siblings would be like. Her little brother, Harlan, was sweet as all get out but could be a force of nature on his own, and she was self-aware enough to know she could be too. That energy amplified between seven kids, all the same age? That would be overwhelming. No, Sissy didn’t envy Vanya.

What Vanya’s extensive family was good for, though, was gathering intel. And she knew just the sibling to ask.

After scraping through her AP Euro test (which, she believed, she should get an A on just for completing – it was a miracle she was able to answer any question at all with how distracted she was), Sissy rushed through the hallways to the right locker, hoping to find the person she was looking for before third period could start.

“Allison!” she called out, before cringing at her own voice – that had been a little too loud. It got the job done though, and Allison’s head snapped up. So, she noticed a moment too late, did Raymond’s, who was standing with Allison as she got her books from her locker. Sissy felt a moment of hesitation – she was nervous enough about confessing to Allison, did she want to confess to her boyfriend too? – but her excitement won out. Besides, she liked Raymond. He was nice whenever they spoke, _and_ he was from Texas.

“What’s up?” Allison asked, shutting her locker. She didn’t look surprised, but definitely curious. She and Sissy got along, but they didn’t hang out much together without Vanya.

There were only ten minutes between classes; there wasn’t time to beat around the bush.

“I think –“ she started, then stopped. _Come on_ , she thought, _let’s be honest with ourselves_. “I have a crush on Vanya.”

And, well. It wasn’t that Sissy thought Allison would be cruel, but it was never _not_ going to be nerve-wracking to confide in your crush’s sister about said crush. What if Allison didn’t approve of Sissy? What if she thought Sissy was doing this all as a prank – Vanya had told her once that that had happened before, and the Hargreeves were a notoriously protective bunch – 

But Allison’s face broke into a huge smile, one of those wildly genuine ones that split the face and lit up the room. “ _Sissy_! What? When? This is so exciting!”

Her energy was infectious, and Sissy smiled back. She explained about the cupcake and her morning realization, capping it off with her request. “I need your help.”

“Of course! With what?”

“With the…asking her out part.”

Raymond laughed. “You’ve come to the right place. She’s quite the romantic.”

Allison swatted at his arm. “Like you’re not.”

He put his hand over his heart. “I certainly am, that’s why we’re compatible.”

“So you will?” Sissy asked.

“Absolutely,” Allison said. “Do you have any ideas?”

Sissy shrugged awkwardly. “Nothing yet beyond _hey, do you want to go out with me_ , but I was hoping to be a tad more romantic than that.”

To her credit, Allison didn’t laugh. “You’re in luck,” she said with that light in her eye she always got when she was planning something, “it’s early February.”

Raymond got a similar look in his eyes and grinned. “Work Trip Weekend?”

Allison nodded. “Work Trip Weekend.”

Sissy looked between the two of them, lost, and raised her hand a bit. “What is Work Trip Weekend?”

“Every year in February,” Allison explained, “our dad goes on a two-week long work trip to London. It’s the only time of year we’re not under his thumb, and Mom and Pogo let us do pretty much whatever we want.”

“Are we talking about Work Trip Weekend?” a voice drawled, and Klaus materialized out of the rushing stream of students, slinging his arm around Allison’s shoulders. He rolled his neck and looked at Sissy. “It’s a horrible misnomer. I’ve been trying to get everyone to call it Finance Fortnight, but that hasn’t stuck.” He gasped. “Oh, this is Sissy’s first Work Trip Weekend, isn’t it? We’ll have to make some _big_ plans.”

“Already on it,” Allison said. “Listen, Sissy, can you come over this Friday after school? Dad leaves in the morning, and Vanya has orchestra so she’ll be out of the house.”

Klaus squinted. “Are you two having a Vanya-less girls’ night? Seems a little cruel, but yes, if you insist, I _will_ take her place.”

Allison rolled her eyes, shrugging off Klaus’s arm. “No, dumbass. Our friend Sissy here has a crush on Vanya and we need to talk strategy.”

“Oh fuck!” Klaus flapped his hands in Sissy’s general direction. “Oh, now these _are_ some big plans!”

The five minute bell rang. “Damn it,” Allison said. “Okay, quick, does Friday work for you?”

Sissy nodded. “I take the bus, though, so I’ll need a ride to your house.”

“I can drive you,” Raymond offered. He leaned in closer to her and mock-whispered, “You don’t want to ride in the Hargreeves sibling minivan, trust me.”

She laughed. “I’ll take you up on that, thank you.” She had ridden in the minivan before, and was grateful for the excuse to not do it again; Diego was a terrifying driver.

“God, you guys can’t just drop stuff like this on me,” Klaus whined. “What day is it? Wednesday? I’m supposed to wait two whole days for this? Could you not have had your romantic revelation later in the week?”

“Trust me, I’m plenty impatient myself,” Sissy said, shifting her weight and fiddling with the bracelet on her wrist. “And y’all won’t tell Vanya, right?”

Allison looked wounded, one hand gripping the strap of her backpack, the other flying to her chest. “Of course not!” Her face shifted to a grin, and she winked. “Where’s the fun in that?”

The hallway was clearing out. “Shit,” said Allison, “Hazel will kill me if I’m late for his class.” Sissy winced; Mr. Hazel’s room was on the second floor.

“Go!” Sissy urged. “I’ll text you later.”

Allison and Raymond broke out in a jog, headed for the stairs. “You better!” Allison called back.

Before Sissy could leave for her own classroom, Klaus put his hand on her shoulder, shooting her a sly grin. “Hey, welcome to the club. You should double date with me and Dave.”

“Let’s not get ahead of ourselves, cowboy,” she said. “I don’t know if Vanya even likes me back.”

He removed his hand from her shoulder and began walking down the hall. “Oh, I wouldn’t worry about that,” he said airily.

Sissy’s heart skipped a beat.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” she asked, but Klaus was already halfway down the hall. “Klaus! What does that mean?”

He didn’t turn around, just threw his hand up in the air. “Don’t call me cowboy until you get that Stetson you promised me!” He turned into his classroom, and Sissy was left alone in the hallway.

Well.

What was she supposed to make of _that_?

The bell rang. She groaned; she was late for class.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> longer chapter, longer author's note
> 
> \- about setting: they never specify what the name of the city is in the show, and i know it was designed to look like pretty much any major city. i didn't feel like making it new york and i don't know other major cities well enough to set a story there so i fictionalized it, which is kinda how it is already in the show anyway. i took the name from the library, which is argyle public library. picture it as any major northeastern metropolitan area  
> \- all my information about dallas comes from my girlfriend, who is from there :D  
> \- idk if anyone has but just so we're clear: do not read my writing if you ship the siblings. i do not want you here. they are siblings

Looking back on it, making friends with Vanya was one of the easiest things Sissy had ever done.

Her arrival in Argyle was unceremonious. Her father had secured a high-paying position at a prestigious law firm, a job he had been chasing for years, but it meant the entire family faced a very sudden relocation to the city in March. Overnight, the comforting Dallas heat and sun were replaced by northeastern icy drizzle and early nights. Her days of using her aunt and uncle’s farm as a weekend escape were over; her parents assured her she could go back for the summer like she did every year, but it was a poor consolation. Her accent had always been strong, even by Dallas standards, but here she felt alien and vulnerable every time she opened her mouth. She would catch herself unconsciously flattening it in conversation and hated it every time.

She spent the night before her first day at her new Argyle school feeling too jittery to sleep. Her friends from school, her friends from 4-H, they all felt impossibly far away – how was she supposed to befriend people in their second semester of their sophomore year? She wasn’t too bad at making friends under normal circumstances, but these were anything but normal. Teenagers weren’t known for being the most receptive people, and everybody had already formed their social circles. The thought of never being able to break through, of remaining on the fringes alone and forgotten for the next two and a half years, kept her awake all night.

The next morning, she arrived early and was shown around by some harried-looking student volunteer. He didn’t pause long enough between his introductions and explanations for him to breathe, much less for her to start a real conversation, and soon enough she was left to her own devices outside her first period classroom. As students filtered in, she quietly asked the teacher where she should sit. The desks were arranged in groups of twos; the teacher pointed to a mousy girl with long hair and bangs sitting by herself in the middle row by the wall and said, “The desk by Vanya is usually free.”

The other girl’s – Vanya’s – head snapped up at the mention of her name. Sissy walked over and sat down, hyperaware of Vanya’s eyes on her. Some part of Sissy, probably the part that was still getting used to this unfamiliar climate, couldn’t help but notice Vanya’s outfit. She was swimming in a fully buttoned-up flannel shirt, but other than that her boots and the bulky shearling corduroy coat slung over the back of her chair were the only indicators of the below freezing weather outside. Sissy, in her hastily bought parka with her gloves and hat and scarf, felt ridiculous by comparison.

They still had quite some time until class started; only about half the students had arrived so far. Sissy surreptitiously took a deep breath to try to calm the anxiety boiling within her, met Vanya’s gaze, and smiled. “Hi, I’m Sissy. I’m new.”

Vanya blinked, like she hadn’t realized she had been staring. Her nervousness was palpable – her shoulders were hunched in, making her tiny frame even smaller, and she methodically picked at the fingernails of one hand with the other. It was hard to be intimidated by someone who was shaking in their boots, and Sissy’s own anxiety lessened.

“I’m Vanya. It’s nice to meet you.” Her voice was as small as she was. She started to lift her right hand but lowered it again after a moment of hesitation. Sissy realized she had been about to offer to shake her hand; she found it endearing as hell.

“That’s a beautiful name, I’ve never heard it before. Where’s it from? If you don’t mind me asking, that is.”

Vanya’s lips twitched. It was a small smile, but a genuine one. “Russia. I – yeah, it’s Russian.”

Sissy nodded. “That’s cool.”

“Thanks.” Vanya nodded back, but didn’t say anything else.

A couple precious seconds passed by in silence. Vanya looked down at her desk and effortlessly twirled a pencil in her left hand. Sissy knew she had a limited time window to think of something to say before the silence took over and talking became awkward, so she said the first thing that came to mind.

“My name comes from Sissy Spacek. You know, the actress?”

Vanya paused in her twirling and tilted her head. “Like, _Carrie_?”

“Unfortunately.” Sissy snorted. “She and my mom are from the same city, so she named me after her. A dumb reason if you ask me, but I wasn’t consulted.”

Vanya smiled and laughed silently through her nose, which Sissy took as a good sign. “And you know what? Her real name’s Mary Elizabeth, Sissy’s just a nickname. But they went ahead and gave me the much weirder one.”

“I think Sissy is a good name,” Vanya said. Her voice sounded a little stronger. Her posture was more relaxed, too, her shoulders less tense. “It’s not weird. My brother’s name is Five, I think that’s weirder.”

Sissy furrowed her brow. “Five? Seriously?”

“It’s a long story,” Vanya shrugged. She began twirling her pencil again, the movements graceful and smooth.

“You’re good at that,” Sissy noted, nodding at her hand.

“Oh, thanks. Lots of practice, I guess. My brother’s better at it, but he usually uses knives.”

“What – knives?”

Vanya snorted. “Yeah, he’s a show off.”

“Is this Five?”

“Huh? Oh, no, sorry. One of my other brothers.”

“Nice, I only have one brother. Are they older or younger?”

Vanya opened her mouth to answer, but the bell cut her off.

When the bell rang again an hour and a half later, Sissy snuck a glance over at Vanya as they packed their bags. Vanya had been easy to talk to; she was a little awkward, but then again, so was Sissy. She took the plunge before she could stop herself: “Hey, I just moved here and don’t really know anyone yet. Would you mind if I sat with you at lunch? You don’t have to say yes, but you’re pretty cool, so…” She trailed off, waiting for the answer.

Vanya fumbled a bit with her textbook, apparently caught off guard by the question. She looked surprised but not uncomfortable as she said, “Yeah! Yeah, of course. There are these, uh, circular tables by the windows in the back corner of the cafeteria? We usually sit there.” She blushed a bit, busying herself with putting on her coat. “And thank you. You, uh, you seem cool too.”

And in the end, that was all it had taken. Through Vanya, Sissy became friends with the other Hargreeves siblings, and in turn got to know their friends too. By the end of her first week she was added to a group chat that dwarfed in volume the number of texts she was getting from her friends back in Dallas.

But even with this unexpectedly large new social circle, Vanya remained her closest friend. She was thoughtful and kind, and her quiet demeanor hid a sharp sense of humor; she was able to make Sissy laugh with just a few words or a well-timed look. But most of all, she listened to Sissy like no one else had before. She made Sissy feel heard and understood in a way that was shocking considering the brief amount of time they had known each other. Sissy had a hard time connecting with people, even back in Dallas; that was part of what drew her to the isolation of the farm so much. But Vanya’s deep brown eyes seemed to look through Sissy and down to her soul, and instead of feeling vulnerable or exposed she felt appreciated. Recognized.

Becoming friends with Vanya was so easy, in fact, that it didn’t occur to Sissy until nearly the end of her first semester in Argyle that Vanya had ever had any trouble making friends.

Toward the end of May, Vanya invited her to her youth orchestra’s spring showcase. She put on her nicest dress and had her parents drop her off in front of the auditorium. She got to meet Vanya’s mother, a beautiful blonde-haired woman with a bright smile who looked like someone out of a Norman Rockwell painting, and the family’s butler, a stooped Englishman with paper-pale skin and graying hair. Mr. Hargreeves (“ _Sir_ Hargreeves,” Five would correct her, “he gets pissy when people don’t call him sir, the prick”) was not in attendance. She got to see the Hargreeves siblings in their own formalwear, and laughed along with the others as Ben dryly told them incorrect and increasingly ridiculous information about musical instruments.

And, for the first time, she got to hear Vanya play. Sissy had listened to Vanya infodump at length about the violin and classical music, but Vanya had never actually offered to play for her, dismissing herself as not very good no matter how much Sissy insisted. And while Sissy would admit that it was difficult to pick out Vanya’s second chair playing from the rest of the orchestra, it didn’t matter, because she knew it was beautiful. Vanya looked ethereal up on the stage. The nervousness she tended to exhibit in crowds was entirely absent; her straight back and closed eyes and graceful movements projected utmost confidence. Watching her fingers jump from string to string, Sissy thought back to the way Vanya would perfectly twirl her pencil and marveled at the application of such dexterity. As far as Sissy was concerned, the rest of the orchestra didn’t exist – all the music that filled the room came from Vanya alone.

Sissy was one of the first to jump up for the standing ovation.

After the performance, after the congratulations and hugging and loving teasing from her siblings, Vanya waited alone with Sissy for her parents to come pick her up. Mrs. Hargreeves (“Please,” she had insisted, “call me Grace,” but Sissy couldn’t bring herself to break the habit of referring to adults with honorifics) had offered to drive her home, but she knew transporting seven kids was already a pain, and her parents were going to be here any minute, honest. The two of them stood on the curb off to the side, away from the lights of the auditorium and the noise of mingling concert attendees.

May in Argyle hardly earned the title of ‘spring.’ Sissy had worn her parka despite its informality and was grateful for her foresight, though the cold night air still bit at her face and hands. She had already told Vanya that her playing was beautiful, multiple times in fact, but she could tell the praise was beginning to make the other girl uncomfortable. So instead of offering her congratulations again she said, “Thank you for inviting me tonight. I had a really great time.”

Vanya smiled shyly, pulling at the cuffs of her suit jacket, looking out toward the dark street. “Thank you for coming.”

Sissy smiled back. “Of course.”

A moment passed. A distant laugh, high and jovial, broke out above the general buzz of the crowd by the auditorium. When Vanya inhaled in preparation to speak again, Sissy thought she was going to change the subject, and was unprepared for when Vanya said, “I’ve never invited anyone to a concert before.”

And well, didn’t _that_ throw Sissy for a loop? She responded without thinking, “Really? Why not? You all sounded amazing.” She made sure to include the word _all_ , to try to dilute the praise so Vanya wouldn’t balk at the compliment.

Vanya still didn’t look at her, methodically fiddling with the buttons of her shirtsleeve. “I’ve never had anyone _to_ invite before.”

Sissy wanted to protest, she _would_ have protested if she hadn’t suddenly recalled what her teacher said, back on the first day of school: _The desk by Vanya is usually free_.

While Sissy took in the implications of that statement for the first time, Vanya continued, her voice thin and halting. “You’re the first real friend I’ve had in – um, ever, I think. So thank you for coming. It means a lot.” In a sudden motion she turned to hug Sissy, burying her face in her shoulder.

Sissy hugged her back. Vanya felt warm against the night’s chill. In that moment, Sissy realized that this friendship was as important for Vanya as it was for her, and god, wasn’t that a humbling feeling?

She said the only thing she could think to say, and hoped it was enough. “You deserve it.”

Her parents’ car pulled up a few seconds later.

***

Maybe Klaus was right and she should have had her romantic revelation later in the week, because the wait was hellish. She felt like a fly trapped in amber, helpless as time moved impossibly slowly around her. Every time she tried to focus on her classes she could feel the specter of Friday looming on the horizon.

Weirdly, talking to Vanya was actually the easiest part. All she had to do was ignore the butterflies and act the same way she always did. What was difficult was pretending not to notice Allison and Klaus’s wide eyes and broad grins whenever she and Vanya were in the same room. Raymond was the least obtrusive, but even he would send her knowing smiles when Vanya wasn’t looking. Allison had added all four of them to a group chat titled _strategy committee_ and proceeded to blow up Sissy’s phone with gifs and custom-made memes; she had to make sure Vanya couldn’t ever see the screen.

Her family was picking up on it, too. She waved off her parents with some not-entirely-untrue excuse about school stress, but Harlan wasn’t convinced. She assured him she was alright, everything was fine, but didn’t want to tell him quite yet about her crush – if Vanya didn’t feel the same way, she didn’t want to have to deal with the embarrassment of telling her little brother she’d been rejected.

At lunch on Friday, Vanya took in Sissy’s bouncing leg and fidgeting fingers and asked, “Are you feeling alright?” Sissy inwardly screamed at the sincerity in her voice.

Klaus choked on his drink. Diego impassively slapped him on the back a couple times.

Sissy tried not to glare at Klaus, instead meeting Vanya’s eyes. “Yeah, I’m fine. Just worried about getting my AP Euro test back.” She made a conscious effort to stop fiddling with her bracelet. 

“I’m sure you did great.” Vanya smiled, and the warmth Sissy felt was counterbalanced by the way Klaus waggled his eyebrows at her from across the table.

***

The drive from school to the Hargreeves house wasn’t too far, but Sissy swore they hit every red light in the city. Raymond picked up on her mood before she could start pulling out her hair. He was sweet, talking to her about Dallas things he missed, like White Rock Lake and Whataburger. Her anxiety faded just about completely.

Only to come back in force as they pulled up to the mansion.

“Hey,” Raymond said as she unbuckled her seatbelt. “It’ll be fine. Allison and Klaus and I are rooting for you.” He tipped an imaginary Stetson. “Pardner.”

She rolled her eyes but couldn’t stop herself from smiling. “Yeehaw, buckaroo.”

They walked up and knocked on the townhouse door. From inside they heard a voice shout “ _I’ll get it!_ ” and the sound of rapidly approaching footsteps. The door was thrown open, revealing Luther’s beaming face. “Hi-“ he started, but he paused as he took in Sissy and Raymond, smile dropping a bit. “You’re not Elliot.”

Raymond smiled politely. “Sorry to disappoint. Work Trip Weekend plans?”

Luther nodded, stepping aside to let them in. “Work Trip Weekend plans.”

He closed the door behind them after they walked in, cutting off the natural light. Sissy blinked at the dimly lit foyer. She had been inside the mansion before, but not many times; Vanya preferred to hang out at Sissy’s house. The grandeur of the front hall still managed to intimidate Sissy, with its marble flooring and chandelier and decorative columns. It aligned with Sir Reginald’s parenting style – cold, distant, and impersonal.

“Allison is up in her room,” Luther said. “But Vanya’s at rehearsal.” His voice tilted up at the end, clearly confused as to why Sissy was here but not wanting to ask her outright.

She opened her mouth to respond, but a voice spoke up from the top of the stairs before she could. “Vanya, Vanya, Vanya.” She looked up; Klaus was leaning against the banister. “Sissy’s her own person, dear brother, you know that. As it so happens, Allison and I have requested her presence this evening, _without_ needing Vanya as mediator.”

Luther blanched, looking impressively small for a six foot five football star. “No, I didn’t mean to – of course Sissy is –“ he stammered, before landing on the only part of what Klaus had said that he could solidly respond to. “It’s afternoon.”

Klaus rolled his eyes. “Whatever.” He held out his hand, beckoning Sissy and Raymond to follow him up the stairs. “Come, friends, the lady awaits.”

They left Luther waiting in the foyer for Elliot. The trio walked through the labyrinthine halls of the house, making their way to the kids’ wing. By the time Sissy first came over to the Hargreeves house, Vanya had already come over to Sissy’s house in the suburbs quite a few times. She had always acted cagey about the idea of having Sissy over; the first time Sissy saw the kids’ wing, she understood why. All seven of them were relegated to two narrow, dingy hallways stacked on top of each other in some back corner of the house. The splendor of the rest of the mansion was absent from the chipped wooden doors with numbers stenciled on each. Vanya’s room, the one marked _7_ , was barely large enough to fit her bed and her dresser. Other than the music stand, it was devoid of personality, and as Vanya sheepishly welcomed her in she knew they were both thinking about Sissy’s room, with its light blue walls and art prints and plants on the windowsills.

Klaus knocked “Shave and a Haircut” on the door labeled _3_ before pushing it open.

Sissy had been in Allison’s room before, but the difference between it and Vanya’s was still striking. Allison’s room was easily twice the size of her only sister’s and was bursting with personality. Posters and magazine cutouts lined the walls, the vanity was overflowing with makeup and nail polish, and a lush pink carpet lined the floor in front of the bed.

A carpet upon which Allison was currently sitting cross-legged. She groaned in relief when they walked in. “Finally! We’ve been waiting for forever, it’s been killing me.”

Raymond kissed her on the top of her head before sitting down beside her. “Sorry my dear, there was traffic. I don’t know how you got here so much earlier than us.”

Sissy sat down delicately on Allison’s other side while Klaus threw himself on his side across from them, taking up as much space as possible. “Diego drove,” he said and shuddered dramatically. Sissy and Raymond nodded with matching winces. Enough said.

“I’m surprised you haven’t set up a conspiracy board,” Raymond said, looking around the room. Sissy’s confusion must have shown on her face, because he explained, “That’s what she did for me.”

“Until you ruined my plans by asking me out first,” Allison replied, tapping his knee with hers.

He put his hand on her shoulder. “I am deeply sorry for making the first move, can you ever forgive me for starting our relationship?”

“Ugh, enough already!” Klaus rolled over onto his back. “You lovebirds make me sick. We’re here for Sissy and our dear little Vanya, remember?”

Allison clapped her hands together once. “Right.” She turned and gave her full attention to Sissy. “So – do you have any ideas?”

The three pairs of eyes on her all at once made Sissy feel self-conscious. She curled a bit into herself, shrugging. “I mean…not really? I keep psyching myself out before I can think of anything.”

“Hey,” Allison began, and her gentle smile helped put Sissy at ease. “That’s what we’re here for. Don’t worry.”

“Don’t worry about what?”

Sissy jumped at the new voice and looked over to see Diego leaning against the doorframe.

“I knew I should have closed that door,” Klaus muttered. “In my defense, I thought he would take advantage of Work Trip Weekend as soon as possible and already be gallivanting about the city.”

“Okay, first of all,” Diego started, marking off his points on his fingers, “I _do_ have Work Trip Weekend plans, but Patch and Lila are both busy tonight so we’re hanging out tomorrow. Second, fucking rude. Third, what are you guys talking about? And isn’t Vanya at rehearsal?”

Klaus shot up to a sitting position and leaned forward to put a comforting hand on Sissy’s knee. “Jesus, what’s gotten into everyone today? Sissy’s our friend too, not just Vanya’s.”

Diego’s eyes widened as he realized the implication of his words. “Hey, I know that. That’s not what I meant, I was just surprised –“

Sissy decided to put him out of his misery. She smiled at him. “I get it, Diego. No offence taken.”

He nodded, looking relieved. “Good,” he said and sat down next to Sissy, stretching his legs out in front of him and leaning back on his hands.

“Sure, invite yourself, why don’t you,” Allison muttered.

“What was that?”

Allison gave an overly saccharine smile. “It’s a pleasure to have you here.”

“That’s what I thought.”

Raymond caught Sissy’s eye. “Is this okay with you?”

She took a second to consider it. Diego was nice, if a little combative, and she knew that beyond his knife-throwing, big-talking exterior, he was more sensitive than he liked to let on. He might be helpful, and besides, she was pretty sure kicking him out now would hurt his feelings.

“Yeah, it’s fine. I’m, uh…” She took a deep breath. “We’re brainstorming ways I can ask Vanya out.”

He made a little _o_ with his mouth, but other than that took the news in stride. “What have you come up with so far?”

Klaus flopped back down on his side. “Nothing as of yet.”

Sissy nodded. “Yeah, I’m stuck.”

“Let’s start simple. What does Vanya like?” Allison asked.

“Violin, classical music, _Phantom of the Opera_ or whatever,” Diego listed.

“That’s a good start,” Raymond said. “Do you play any musical instruments?”

Sissy shook her head. “None at all. Everything I know about music theory comes from Vanya.”

Klaus piped up from the floor. “She likes tea. You could, I don’t know, put a little note in a box of tea and give it to her?”

Diego scoffed. “That’s the dumbest shit I’ve ever heard.”

“Oh, I’m sorry,” Klaus propped his head up with his elbow and fixed Diego with an owlish look, blinking innocently. “Which one of us is happily involved in a long-term relationship, and which one of us is caught in a psychosexual nightmare of a love triangle? I forget.”

“We are _not_ in a love triangle – “

Sissy watched them argue, picking at the rug beneath her and focusing on the sinking feeling in her chest. Maybe this had been a bad idea. If she couldn’t get her shit together enough to even _ask Vanya out_ , maybe she wasn’t ready to date her at all.

Allison’s voice cut through her siblings’ bickering and snapped Sissy out of her thoughts. “Hey, assholes. This is getting us nowhere. If you’re not going to take this seriously, get out.”

Her brothers had the decency to look ashamed. “Sorry Ally,” Klaus said, drawing out the words.

She nodded, satisfied. “Good. Because this is about you,” she turned to Sissy, “and Vanya, and it needs to be perfect.”

They continued to strategize, though the word seemed generous. It felt more to Sissy like throwing things at the wall to see what would stick. Klaus took point, to Allison’s growing frustration, and Diego spent most of his time pointing out holes in Klaus’s ideas. Raymond and Allison were trying their best to be helpful, but nothing felt right.

She didn’t know how long it took for her to notice the figure lingering in her peripheral vision, but when she did she nearly jumped out of her skin. Her sudden motion set off a chain reaction around the circle, and within a second all of them had snapped their heads over to look at the person in the doorway. “What the _hell_ , Five?” Allison demanded.

Five looked between each of them. “This is an interesting group.” His eyes narrowed when his gaze landed on Sissy. “Vanya’s at rehearsal.”

Klaus just draped his arm over his eyes and groaned.

Allison took up the mantle for him. “Sissy’s our friend, too, we can hang out with her if we want.”

“True,” Five agreed, his voice deceptively amicable, “but you never have without Vanya before.”

“Did you come here for a reason, or do you just get a kick out of lurking around ominously?” Diego crossed his arms.

Five stepped fully into the room, sticking his hands in his pockets. “Originally, no on both counts. I was just going upstairs. But then I heard you say Vanya’s name, which I found odd because she’s at rehearsal, so I decided to…” He looked Sissy dead in the eyes. “Investigate.”

Out of all the Hargreeves siblings, Five was the one that Sissy had the most trouble with. His arrogance could border on unbearable, and there was something almost predatory about his analytical gaze, like he was picking you apart. He was a naturally suspicious person and fiercely protective of his siblings, especially Vanya.

Vanya had assured her that Five did actually like her, that he was like this with everybody. But that thought wasn’t comforting when Five was looking at her like he wanted to skip the shovel talk and go right to the shovel.

“You are so fucking weird,” Allison said. “We’re literally just talking.”

Sissy went ahead and bit the bullet. “I want to ask Vanya out on a date, they’re all helping me think of a good way to do it.”

“Uh-huh,” he said slowly, then turned to address Allison. “And how do we know this won’t be another Leonard situation?”

Allison threw a pillow at him, but Sissy just froze, her eyes widening.

“Fucking hell, Five,” Diego spat. “This is _Sissy_. She’s nothing like Leonard.”

Sissy didn’t know the full details about what happened with Leonard. Everything she knew came from a late night confession Vanya had whispered to her at a sleepover at Sissy’s house a couple months back: he had gotten close to her freshman year, taking advantage of her anxiety and inexperience in social situations to win her trust. He had played the part for months. When he asked her out to spring formal, she had been euphoric, picking out clothes with Grace and letting Allison do her makeup (she hated the stuff, but he had said it would be a good look for her).

When she arrived at the school he revealed the entire thing had been an elaborate and vicious prank. Not only did he have no romantic interest in her, he had never been her friend in the first place. She fled the gym and chose to walk all the way back to the house on her own rather than call Grace to come pick her up.

The idea that she could be anything like him made Sissy feel sick.

“Why not?” Five spat right back. “He played the long game too.”

Sissy leaned forward, desperately locking eyes with Five. She needed him to stop thinking like that, _now_. “I would _never_ do that. God, I would – I would rather never talk to Vanya again than hurt her like that.”

He held her gaze for a couple agonizing seconds. His expression was inscrutable.

Finally, finally, he must have found what he was looking for because he nodded. “Alright. I believe you.”

Sissy’s lungs started working again.

“Now that _that_ fucked up little interrogation is over with,” Klaus said, pulling out his phone as Five sauntered over and sat down beside Raymond, “I’m texting Ben. He’ll get here eventually and, as much fun as I’m having getting nowhere and explaining the situation over and over again, I think it might be time to actually do what we came here to do.” 

“Might as well text Luther, too,” Sissy said with a sigh. He was probably busy with Elliot, but she agreed with Klaus – she was sick of repeating herself.

He whined but did it anyway. About thirty seconds later, Ben burst into the room. “Sissy! I’m here to rescue you from whatever dumb ideas Klaus has come up with.” Klaus ineffectually kicked at him.

She put a hand over her heart. “My hero.” Ben reminded her of Vanya, sweet and quiet but lively and hilarious once you got to know him.

Allison motioned for him to sit down. He dropped down between Sissy and Diego, pulling his knees up to his chest.

“Okay,” said Allison, “now that we finally have run out of people to distract us, we can get back to work.” She looked around the circle. “Any ideas?”

The room was silent.

Sissy ran her hands down her face. The trepidation came crashing back in. She felt like an idiot for turning this into such a big deal, getting the entire family involved in the process. And for what? Just to figure out how to ask someone out? That was supposed to be the _easy_ part. “Maybe it’s stupid to try to go for some grand gesture. I mean, would she even like something like that?”

Five shrugged. “Probably not.”

Sissy’s heart sank.

But he continued: “That doesn’t mean the sentiment is bad, though. A ‘grand gesture’ probably would stress her out, but that doesn’t mean the way you ask her can’t be personalized. It could just be something,” he grimaced like the word tasted bad in his mouth, “cute.”

“That’s a good point,” Ben nodded. “Something low key but heartfelt would be best.”

“So that narrows down our options,” Raymond said. “Maybe we can reverse engineer this, narrow them down even further. Do you have any ideas for what you want to do on the date?”

“Oh, you could have a movie night!” Allison’s eyes lit up. “I have a huge DVD collection, you can borrow from any of them!”

Klaus cupped his hand around his mouth. “Say no,” he stage-whispered to Sissy. “They’re all old and terrible.”

“Shut up, they are not.”

“Oh? And which delectable piece of cinema would you recommend?”

Allison’s face fell – she evidently hadn’t thought that far. “Maybe… _Chains_?”

Sissy wasn’t expecting Diego of all people to scoff. “ _Chains_? Fucking _Chains_? You think watching _Chains_ is a good first date idea?”

Allison jabbed a finger in his direction. “You loved it! Don’t pretend you didn’t cry at the end.”

Diego threw up his hands. “Exactly! It’s depressing as shit.”

“It’s a masterpiece of Italian postwar melodrama!”

“Do you even hear yourself? Like really, do you comprehend the words that come out of your mouth?”

Sissy had no idea what they were talking about. _So much for no more distractions_. She interrupted before the argument could get too out of hand. “Thank you, Allison, but I don’t think I want to watch a movie. I’d rather do something that we could talk during.”

Allison blinked, turning away from Diego. “Oh. Yeah. That’s fair.”

Sissy shifted her position on the rug. She had put some thought into date ideas, but something always got in the way. Live music was an obvious choice, but she ran into the same problem as seeing a movie. Besides, tickets were expensive.

Vanya had told her before that she loved the outdoors but rarely got the chance to leave the city. “We both like nature, so I thought for a second about having a picnic in the park, but your damn Argyle February is too cold for it.”

Raymond snapped his fingers. “The botanical gardens! They have greenhouses, you could go there. It’s no Arboretum,” he added with a smirk, “but it’s decent enough. For Argyle.”

“Oh, you Texans.” Klaus stuck his hand up in the air and waved it around. “With your secret Dallasonian – er, Dallaser –“

“Dallasite,” Sissy provided.

“ _Danke_. Your secret Dallasite code.”

Sissy mused over Raymond’s proposal. She had been to the botanical gardens once before, two or three months ago, and had loved it. Though more humid than Dallas, entering the heat of the greenhouses hit Sissy with a wave of nostalgia. They were like an oasis in the grey Argyle cityscape, bright and colorful and delightfully uncrowded. She and Harlan had played hide and seek in the plants.

“That’s a good idea. We could get food in the café, too.”

Allison leaned back, throwing her hands up in the air above her head. “ _Now_ we’re getting somewhere! So, do you want the big question to relate somehow? Maybe make it plant themed?”

Sissy tilted her head, considering. “Like, make some kind of…” She snorted. “Plant pun?”

Raymond pursed his lips. “In my professional opinion, I would advise against it. A pun would come across as too cheesy.”

“At what stage of professionalism do you determine the romantic validity of puns?” Ben asked, his tone genuinely curious.

“I like to think being captain of the speech and debate team gives me the proper qualifications.”

Sissy nodded. “Okay, so puns are out. I could, I don’t know, give her a little potted plant? Like as a gift?”

Five shook his head. “Too risky, it could get damaged in transport if you’re planning to ask her out at school.”

Klaus sighed. “That would have been cute though! I hate when you’re right.”

“Get used to it, because I’m never wrong.”

Raymond laughed at the way Allison rolled her eyes.

Sissy ran a hand through her hair. “Okay, low key but heartfelt, low key but heartfelt…god, why am I blanking on everything Vanya’s ever told me she likes?”

“I mean, it’s not strictly ethical but we could look in her diary, try to get some ideas there,” Ben offered.

“Don’t bother, unless you can read Russian,” Diego said. Everyone turned to look at him; he threw up his hands in defense, palms out. “What? I didn’t know what to get her for her birthday and was hoping she had written something there that would help me.”

“It’s rude to invade her privacy like that,” Five chided.

“Ben literally just suggested the same thing!”

“Russian?” Sissy asked, part out of curiosity and part to break up yet another potential argument.

“Yeah, both her bio parents were Russian, so she grew up speaking it along with English,” Five answered, drumming his fingers on his knee.

Sissy hadn’t known any of that. It was like a familiar photograph she looked at every day suddenly pulled back to reveal it was only a small part of a much larger image – she felt out of her depth. She didn’t even know at what age Vanya had been adopted. Sissy had tried so, so hard since arriving at the Hargreeves house to not dwell on the possibility of Vanya rejecting her. She had been using the fact that the siblings were helping her without question, along with Klaus’s cryptic message in the hall on Wednesday, as reassurance that it wasn’t likely, but this felt like the rug being pulled out from under her. If she didn’t know this, after almost a year of friendship, was there a reason for that? Did Vanya not trust her?

She felt ridiculous. It _was_ ridiculous. She hated how fast she could spiral. It was such a small thing, but her confidence was a Jenga tower, and this was a bottom block being pulled out by a drunken frat boy.

She was so caught up in her own head that she hadn’t realized the conversation was continuing around her until Ben gently nudged her shoulder with her own. “Hey,” he said lowly, loud enough for her to hear but quiet enough to not draw attention, “what’s up?”

Best to keep it short and sweet; admitting it all out loud would just make her feel more pathetic. “I didn’t know that.”

She saw in his eyes the exact moment he realized what she was feeling, accompanied with a soft _Oh_. It only took about a second – she should have known better than to underestimate Ben. “Don’t worry about it, seriously. She never talks about her bio parents, even with us.”

Her stomach dropped. The implications of that were…unnerving, to say the least.

He rushed to keep talking, as if to move on from the topic he had brought up. “She does love Russian, though. I know she watches a lot of Russian-language TV and movies so she doesn’t get rusty. And, apparently,” he added, his eyes darting pointedly over at Diego before returning to Sissy, “she writes in it too. She just doesn’t bring it up much, ‘cause she doesn’t know anyone else who speaks it. None of us do.”

Okay. Okay. That made sense. Her insecurity waned, at least. It all struck her as rather sad, though. Vanya’s issues with feeling isolated and the fact that she didn’t talk much with others about an aspect of her identity important to her because nobody else would be able to connect to it felt linked in a very lonely way. She hadn’t even bothered to tell Sissy at all, because there would be no point.

“Oh fuck!” she said far louder than she intended to while slapping at Ben’s shoulder.

The conversation in the room stopped. Klaus gasped. “Sissy! You know the” – he dropped his voice to a whisper – “ _fuck word_?”

She ignored him. She looked between Ben and Allison, the excitement and the relief making her giddy. Everyone looked at her with bated breath.

She squared her shoulders, feeling more assured than she had in days. “I know what to do.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you very much for reading! tbh i'm very unhappy with this chapter but i got to the point where editing became frustrating so i figured i'd just go ahead and post it. pls let me know your thoughts, particularly what (if anything) worked for you!
> 
> also i'm sorry for being a film history student, i'm not valid for this one

**Author's Note:**

> i never write romance so please leave a kudos/comment if you enjoyed! thank you so much for reading! :D
> 
> fun fact: the woman sissy refers to who doesn’t trust water is based off my aunt. yes this is a real thing she believes. no I don’t know why


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